Sunday 24 June 2012
Wednesday 15 February 2012
JB App!
It's finally here! As of 9am this morning, the Jeremy Beens app will be available at Amazon.co.uk, Robert Dyas stores and a select number of Esso petrol stations in the
The app itself looks like this (the triangle is something to do with radiation - on the commercially available models it will be replaced with the Jeremy Beens logo):
You don't really get a feel for the dimensions from the picture - it's about the size of a Ski yoghurt, so literally no worries when it comes to "taking it mobile" in a good sized coat pocket.
The whole concept behind the app is about managing and streamlining the complexities of a hectic, 21st century business lifestyle, so we really wanted to make it a one-stop-shop by integrating as many features as we could. Phillip's really the best man to talk to about this, but as far as I can gather, the app is capable of doing the following things:
- Directs all emails, texts, facebooks messages, twitts and voicemails to a printer of your choice
- Sends traffic updates by text for every A- and B-road in the UK every 5 minutes
- Automatically re-orders your last Tesco Direct or Ocado order every Monday morning, down to the last item
- Complete entertainment and cultural listings for the Warwickshire area
- "Syncs" the TFL tube map with your broadband router (may have misunderstood this - will check with Phillip)
Anyway, if you want to see it in action, come to the launch party at All Bar One tonight - Phillip's ear infection is back so he unfortunately won't be able to attend, but should be a great chilled-out, informative vibe nonethless. You'll not pnly be able to test drive the app, but also pick up some discounted Platypus hardware and some of my as-yet-not-commercially-available motivational DVDs and audiobooks. See you there!
*Please note that the app is currently ONLY compatible with the Platypus, Plat-5 and PlatMax smartphones and some Nokias - Apple, Blackberry, Samsung, Sony Ericsson, LG, HTC products will not "interface" correctly with the app because Phillip says the plug is too big.
Wednesday 25 January 2012
The Platypus
Been getting some genuinely awesome feedback recently regarding the mobile handheld web device (for the Warwickshire area) that I created back in 2008.
To all the fans of 'The Platypus' out there, I thought I would out-load the below document showing how myself and my web-guy Phillip set about designing and streamlining the device.
Enjoy!
To all the fans of 'The Platypus' out there, I thought I would out-load the below document showing how myself and my web-guy Phillip set about designing and streamlining the device.
Enjoy!
Click here to see it in fine detail
Tuesday 24 January 2012
Monday 2 January 2012
'My Entrepeneurial Investments (non-cricket) - A History
A lot of guys out there often say to me 'Jeremy, you've been retired from professional cricket for 7 years, why? and what have you been doing?'
I can answer the first question simply and with one syllable; gout. The second answer is far richer and takes you on a tour of some of the most fascinating technologies of the post-Y2K world.
Essentially, I am a full time entrepreneur as well as life-coach and wellness enthusiast. Since 2006 I have been very involved in the funding, development, conceptualising and in some cases liquidation of a range of fascinating businesses. Here they are!
1. 'The Upper Crust - A Savoury Cheesecake Company'
2006-8
My wife Trudie, as well as being a wonderful wife and human makes exceptional cheesecake. Over the years she has moved away from classic flavours (such as berry and plain) to a range of savoury 'cakes focussing on more inventive lunch-like tastes - your bacons, your turkey breasts, your quorns.
It is this kind of inventiveness which make me thank God every day that she was the woman who eventually agreed to marry me.
Trudes added a lovely little touch to this new brand of lunchtime cake by flipping them over to have the crust on the top and the lovely meaty/cheesey deep-dish filling below. Needless to say I saw this and I thought 'Mega-bucks'!
'The Upper Crust' began formal trading in December 2007 with a modest goal of a stall in Claverdon Farmer's Market by Q2 2008 and the admittedly more ambitious aim of being in every UK supermarket by Q1 2009.
It was perhaps this sheer ambition (for which, incidentally, I make no apologies) which made the lawyers at nationwide train-station eatery 'Upper Crust' get scared. Before we knew it these 'legal-suits' had put together a case claiming that our name 'The Upper Crust' (a harmless nod to Trudie's joie-de-vivre attitude re cheesecake-crust location) in some way infringed upon their copyrighted name of "Upper Crust and any propositions used before or after in any form of printed or online marketing and/or store frontage".
It was a nonsense. I tried to get them round a table and strategize a solution but they deliberately tried to complicate matters using funny Latin words and/or a court summons. It seemed a tragedy that two sets of people who had such fascinating approaches to the concept of crust couldn't find a way to live together.
Trudie has stopped making cheesecakes now to concentrate on her pilates but I still own the domain name www.theuppercrustsavourycheesecakecompanyltd.co.uk and will listen to offers.
2. The Platypus - Online Mobile Handheld Tool (for the Wawickshire area)
2008
In 2008 my web guy Phillip came running into my office saying 'Jeremy, I've done it!'. I was so excited by the look on his face I automatically assumed he had managed to shift the cheesecake domain and reached for the cava. But this breakthrough was in fact bigger than any cheesecake (or any website for cheesecakes)
Phillip and I were both tech-savvy guys - we had met in the late 1990s at a conference on the future of pagers. Circa 2008, we looked on as Blackberry and Apple divided up the mobile handheld market between themselves - we sure as hell wanted a piece of it!
Phillip went about designing a sleek mobile information device that would blow Warwickshire (and then other counties and then the UK and then other nations) away. It was a beauty - the size of a Polaroid camera, it could fit snugly in most handbags or gym back-packs and its smooth matt plastic finish made it a joy to carry and hold. The interface was simple; you could use it to access any email account in the world and download all your messages to the device - due to a tie-in with Warwickshire local councils it could also access local council information and a full list of upcoming cultural events*
Phillip explained that because the Platypus is one of the few mammals who don't have visible ears, 'The Platypus' would be the ideal name for it. I wholeheartedly agreed although in hindsight I should have pushed him for a bit more detail as to why this made so much sense - but in the helter-skelter vibe of IT enrepeuneuring sometimes things move faster than you would like.**
'The Platypus' launched with great local fanfare and we were well in touch with our profit projections for the first few days. Sadly we were badly let down by Warwickshire County Council and Dixons - confusion arose after they failed to deliver on promises made during a marketing meeting in early August which they later merely claimed were 'possible ideas'.
I was convinced that the only way to push forward the business concept was to take the council and Dixons at their word and assume they were going to support us rather than have it confirmed in legally-recognised documentation. Having thought about this for a few years and read Alan Sugar's autobiography twice - I am still pretty sure I was right.
I have no regrets about the Platypus (or the later models, Plat-5 and Plat-Max) despite profits being a little south of expectation and solvency.
3. 'Water-boarding' at the West Midlands Water Ski Centre
2006
I love water-skiing - I make no apologies for that. The glide of sharp skis cutting through liquid water combined with the constant hum of a speedboat engine is one of the all-time great vibes.
However, I've always been aware there are people out there terrified of both water and skis. The water bit I couldn't help with but I did see the market for a smoother, more friendly way of achieving the waterskiing atmosphere.
My solution was a self-created concept called 'Water-boarding'; essentially the water-boardist is tugged along by a speedboat whilst gripping tightly to a foam board that keeps him/her afloat. It perhaps lacks the speed and power of water-skiing but it was safe as houses and I was convinced people like Trudie who had always been too frightened of waterskiing would turn up in their droves for a gentle afternoon of water-boarding.
I developed the concept with my web guy Phillip and my investment-advisor Sunil (now emigrated to Canada). The boards were designed and built and local press coverage was somewhere between substantial and crazed.
Unfortunately we had the terrible luck of launching just at the time when all the dirty secrets of Bush and Blair's probably-justified War on Terror were coming out. It turned out, of course, that there existed an altogether more unsavoury form of water-boarding which many, many nations considered torture.
This put us in a bind marketing-wise. With all our funds invested in advertorial materials emblazoned with the word 'Water-boarding' it was too late to row back on the name. Plus Phillip had already purchased the URL (again, still available) and designed a website which would later receive misguided abuse from supporters of Amnesty International.
Salvation nearly came when trendy and furious journalist Christopher Hitchens announced he would be making his way to the West Midlans Water Ski Centre to try my little invention for Vanity Fair magazine! Sadly I was soon made aware that Hitchens was in fact trying out the other bad form of waterboarding. Why he would choose to do this when there was a far kinder form of water-boarding available to him just a few hours up the M40 was beyond me and I pointed this out to him in several unreplied-to emails.
It's not a nice time to blame Christopher Hitchens for anything seeings as he has recently become dead, but I think we all have to agree on this issue he put the final nail in the Water-boarding coffin.
A real shame.
But a fantastic experience and a great concept.
Though still a real shame that Christopher Hitchens ruined it. But no problems. Easy come, easy go.
*****************
* To my mind this was in a sense the world's first 'App' and something for which Phillip and I have never been recognised for. That's fine, no problem, but I do intend to at least discuss the matter with Apple when they have decided who Steve Jobs' successor is and after a significant enough wait after his death to avoid appearing crass.
** The technological 'start-up' vibe I am referring to here is dealt with in an awesome way throughout the Hollywood movie 'The Social Network' starring Justin Timbaland.
I can answer the first question simply and with one syllable; gout. The second answer is far richer and takes you on a tour of some of the most fascinating technologies of the post-Y2K world.
Essentially, I am a full time entrepreneur as well as life-coach and wellness enthusiast. Since 2006 I have been very involved in the funding, development, conceptualising and in some cases liquidation of a range of fascinating businesses. Here they are!
1. 'The Upper Crust - A Savoury Cheesecake Company'
2006-8
My wife Trudie, as well as being a wonderful wife and human makes exceptional cheesecake. Over the years she has moved away from classic flavours (such as berry and plain) to a range of savoury 'cakes focussing on more inventive lunch-like tastes - your bacons, your turkey breasts, your quorns.
It is this kind of inventiveness which make me thank God every day that she was the woman who eventually agreed to marry me.
Trudes added a lovely little touch to this new brand of lunchtime cake by flipping them over to have the crust on the top and the lovely meaty/cheesey deep-dish filling below. Needless to say I saw this and I thought 'Mega-bucks'!
'The Upper Crust' began formal trading in December 2007 with a modest goal of a stall in Claverdon Farmer's Market by Q2 2008 and the admittedly more ambitious aim of being in every UK supermarket by Q1 2009.
It was perhaps this sheer ambition (for which, incidentally, I make no apologies) which made the lawyers at nationwide train-station eatery 'Upper Crust' get scared. Before we knew it these 'legal-suits' had put together a case claiming that our name 'The Upper Crust' (a harmless nod to Trudie's joie-de-vivre attitude re cheesecake-crust location) in some way infringed upon their copyrighted name of "Upper Crust and any propositions used before or after in any form of printed or online marketing and/or store frontage".
It was a nonsense. I tried to get them round a table and strategize a solution but they deliberately tried to complicate matters using funny Latin words and/or a court summons. It seemed a tragedy that two sets of people who had such fascinating approaches to the concept of crust couldn't find a way to live together.
Trudie has stopped making cheesecakes now to concentrate on her pilates but I still own the domain name www.theuppercrustsavourycheesecakecompanyltd.co.uk and will listen to offers.
2. The Platypus - Online Mobile Handheld Tool (for the Wawickshire area)
2008
In 2008 my web guy Phillip came running into my office saying 'Jeremy, I've done it!'. I was so excited by the look on his face I automatically assumed he had managed to shift the cheesecake domain and reached for the cava. But this breakthrough was in fact bigger than any cheesecake (or any website for cheesecakes)
Phillip and I were both tech-savvy guys - we had met in the late 1990s at a conference on the future of pagers. Circa 2008, we looked on as Blackberry and Apple divided up the mobile handheld market between themselves - we sure as hell wanted a piece of it!
Phillip went about designing a sleek mobile information device that would blow Warwickshire (and then other counties and then the UK and then other nations) away. It was a beauty - the size of a Polaroid camera, it could fit snugly in most handbags or gym back-packs and its smooth matt plastic finish made it a joy to carry and hold. The interface was simple; you could use it to access any email account in the world and download all your messages to the device - due to a tie-in with Warwickshire local councils it could also access local council information and a full list of upcoming cultural events*
Phillip explained that because the Platypus is one of the few mammals who don't have visible ears, 'The Platypus' would be the ideal name for it. I wholeheartedly agreed although in hindsight I should have pushed him for a bit more detail as to why this made so much sense - but in the helter-skelter vibe of IT enrepeuneuring sometimes things move faster than you would like.**
'The Platypus' launched with great local fanfare and we were well in touch with our profit projections for the first few days. Sadly we were badly let down by Warwickshire County Council and Dixons - confusion arose after they failed to deliver on promises made during a marketing meeting in early August which they later merely claimed were 'possible ideas'.
I was convinced that the only way to push forward the business concept was to take the council and Dixons at their word and assume they were going to support us rather than have it confirmed in legally-recognised documentation. Having thought about this for a few years and read Alan Sugar's autobiography twice - I am still pretty sure I was right.
I have no regrets about the Platypus (or the later models, Plat-5 and Plat-Max) despite profits being a little south of expectation and solvency.
3. 'Water-boarding' at the West Midlands Water Ski Centre
2006
I love water-skiing - I make no apologies for that. The glide of sharp skis cutting through liquid water combined with the constant hum of a speedboat engine is one of the all-time great vibes.
However, I've always been aware there are people out there terrified of both water and skis. The water bit I couldn't help with but I did see the market for a smoother, more friendly way of achieving the waterskiing atmosphere.
My solution was a self-created concept called 'Water-boarding'; essentially the water-boardist is tugged along by a speedboat whilst gripping tightly to a foam board that keeps him/her afloat. It perhaps lacks the speed and power of water-skiing but it was safe as houses and I was convinced people like Trudie who had always been too frightened of waterskiing would turn up in their droves for a gentle afternoon of water-boarding.
I developed the concept with my web guy Phillip and my investment-advisor Sunil (now emigrated to Canada). The boards were designed and built and local press coverage was somewhere between substantial and crazed.
Unfortunately we had the terrible luck of launching just at the time when all the dirty secrets of Bush and Blair's probably-justified War on Terror were coming out. It turned out, of course, that there existed an altogether more unsavoury form of water-boarding which many, many nations considered torture.
This put us in a bind marketing-wise. With all our funds invested in advertorial materials emblazoned with the word 'Water-boarding' it was too late to row back on the name. Plus Phillip had already purchased the URL (again, still available) and designed a website which would later receive misguided abuse from supporters of Amnesty International.
Salvation nearly came when trendy and furious journalist Christopher Hitchens announced he would be making his way to the West Midlans Water Ski Centre to try my little invention for Vanity Fair magazine! Sadly I was soon made aware that Hitchens was in fact trying out the other bad form of waterboarding. Why he would choose to do this when there was a far kinder form of water-boarding available to him just a few hours up the M40 was beyond me and I pointed this out to him in several unreplied-to emails.
It's not a nice time to blame Christopher Hitchens for anything seeings as he has recently become dead, but I think we all have to agree on this issue he put the final nail in the Water-boarding coffin.
A real shame.
But a fantastic experience and a great concept.
Though still a real shame that Christopher Hitchens ruined it. But no problems. Easy come, easy go.
*****************
* To my mind this was in a sense the world's first 'App' and something for which Phillip and I have never been recognised for. That's fine, no problem, but I do intend to at least discuss the matter with Apple when they have decided who Steve Jobs' successor is and after a significant enough wait after his death to avoid appearing crass.
** The technological 'start-up' vibe I am referring to here is dealt with in an awesome way throughout the Hollywood movie 'The Social Network' starring Justin Timbaland.
Sunday 1 January 2012
Occasions where I've nearly met Seb Coe
2012 sees the beginning of 'Seb's Year' when the Olympiad (Olympics) comes to London. It also marks the 12th year of my very-nearly-fruitful quest to meet and chat with the Seb-ster himself.
I thought I'd take out some time to jot down a few moments where I've very nearly had a great time with Lord Seb Coe;
29th March, 2000
'Fandango' - Private Dining Club, Amersham
In the early naughties, myself, Dean Headley and TV's Matt Lorenzo formed something of an 'Amersham Rat Pack'. We were young, successful, well-groomed and hungry for life. Every Friday night we'd pick ourselves up off the floor (we also had many drinks on Thursday you see) and head to 'Fandango' - the hottest new eatery in Amersham.
I was compus mentis enough to realise that my boyhood and life-hood hero Sebastian Coe was at the next table - not only that but I spied Lord Coe had wisely opted for a gammon main, just like me. This offered just the intro-nugget I needed to start up a conversation with him. Sadly, Matt made an ill-judged and audible remark about a local mullah who was in the news and we had to make a swift exit.
14th June, 2003
Raspberry Gatorade Lauch Party
The launch of Raspberry Gatorade brought together the creme de la creme from the world's of UK sport and isotonic fluids. As a young cricketer with a keen interest in both, I was delighted to attend. Again I spied Coe through the raspberry coloured curtains that separated the riff-raff from the VIP section.
Sadly, due to a mix up with my invite and (incorrect) confusion about which areas of the event it got me access to, I was unable to mingle with Lord Seb Coe.
15th June 2003
Seb Coe's House
Slightly miffed at the Gatorade mix up the night before and knowing Lord Seb Coe lived just a short 40-mile jog away in Horsham, I decided to work in a quick trip to his house into one of my training runs.
He wasn't in. Apparently.
31st December 2007
Jeremy Beens' New Year's Eve Party
The second half of the 2007 saw the development of Trudie's now sadly-defunct savoury cheesecake business. We decided to host a gala launch party on New Year's Eve to see in 2008 - the year we all hoped would be the year of savoury cheesecake.
Trudie kept the guest list pretty lean - just her life coach, his partner and their dachsund Josh. But I was allowed to extend the cheesecake festive invites to Lord and Lady Seb Coe. Sadly they were unable to reply due to time pressures.
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